dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
