My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
