1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
