Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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