the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
