so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
