Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
