If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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