The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
