He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
