But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
