Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize