the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
