): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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