look no pants
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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