i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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