Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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