I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
