We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm passing your future prison.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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