This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm determined to sit on that face.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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