Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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