I think i peed on brittanys purse
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
