do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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