Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
