I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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