is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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