D3 body, D1 cock
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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