As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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