I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
