he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
