I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
