reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm sobbing to NWA
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
