is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
