my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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