some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
