For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
