Where is the hickey?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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