That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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