yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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