Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
