i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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