Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
