Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
