you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
