i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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