Don't you send me to vm
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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