remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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