I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
