i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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