This dress was meant to end up on your floor
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
