i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize