I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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