this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
