After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
