I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
