The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he fucked my hip out of place.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
