AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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