I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
