No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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