i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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